<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>all the way back home by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665453">all the way back home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra Is A SIMP, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian Disaster Catra (She-Ra), Oblivious Adora (She-Ra), POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Canon, Useless Lesbians, catradora, i said what i said, noelle please, pitch for season six of she-ra, we need a movie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:07:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I mean, are you sure this is even what you want?" Catra demanded, "to just rush right back into the middle of what’s likely a full-blown war, to just go back to that never-ending routine of endless fighting?”<br/>“No, of course I don’t want to go back to war!” Adora cried. “I’m still f*cked up from the last one! But I can’t just abandon my friends, either!”<br/>“It's just...war changes people. It takes friends, girlfriends even, and twists them into something unrecognizable.”<br/>Adora stopped packing and met Catra’s eyes. "This isn't going to be like last time. I promise."<br/>"I know that, but I just...is it selfish to ask you to stay?” Catra asked. “Is it selfish to say that I wish we could just go back to living our lives here and just be happy, for once in our lives?”<br/>Adora reached across the bed to grab Catra’s hand. “You know I wish we could. But we could happy back on Etheria, right? You could be happy with me?”<br/>“I’ll always be happy with you,” Catra said. “I just wish there wasn’t a war. Last one was bad enough; how are we going to survive this one?” </p><p>this is basically just my pitch for a sixth season of She-Ra, with lots of Catradora fluff mixed in with the ~trauma~</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. be selfish with me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>WARNINGS:<br/>implied/references to sex/sexual activity (nothing explicit), (fake) major character death, implication/references of death and grief, profane language, anxiety and PTSD, some graphic violence, reccommended for ages 14+</p><p>fic will contain about 10-11 chapters, each chapter should be about 3K words. fic will update every sunday at 10pm. </p><p>if you liked what you read, please drop comments/kudos! They are my motivation and always appreciated! I welcome constructive criticism (without any malicious intent), or anything else you want to say!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra stood in front of the glass train doors, watching as the blur of the landscape she had been watching so fervently slowly become still once again. She picked up the brown paper bags that she had placed next to her feet and walked out the doors as they gracefully slid open. </p><p>Orange rays of sunlight beamed down on the smooth, steel surface. Thousands of people and citigoers milled about the wide train station, leaving and entering the shuttle. A large sign that read <em> Emery Street </em>hung from an archway that stood atop a wide set of steps. Catra descended them, bags in hand, as she began to walk the familiar city streets until she reached her apartment. </p><p>“Adora?” Catra called as she stepped through the apartment door. “I’m home! And I bought you those moonberries you like so much!” </p><p>There was a sudden rush of footsteps from down the hall as both Adora and Melog came running to greet Catra. Catra placed the bags on the floor and wrapped Adora in her arms, giving her a soft kiss. Melog rubbed against Catra’s leg, purring softly.</p><p>“Did you really buy me moonberries?” Adora asked, a giddy expression quickly spreading across her face. </p><p>“I even made sure to get the red kind,” Catra replied, fishing the container out of one of the bags. “I know it’s your favorite.” </p><p>“YouareliterallythebestandIloveyousomuchohmyfuckinggod,” Adora said, giddily squealing. She kissed Catra again and then set off towards the kitchen, moonberries in hand. Catra plunged her hand into her right pocket, her fingers encasing a small ring box. </p><p><em> That’s not all I got for you today </em>, Catra thought slyly. </p><p>Catra had been planning this day for weeks. Tonight there would be a solar eclipse, which was going to be celebrated by a big party in the center of Castin City. It was only typical of a place like Arvori, the planet Catra and Adora had been living on together for the past three years, to celebrate something so trivial. </p><p>But of course, when stars are such a recent thing to you and your girlfriend, a party isn’t exactly the worst way to celebrate them. Especially when there would be waterfalls. And fancy dresses. And pretty balconies with exquisite flowers and botanics. Plus, the party fell on the five-year-anniversary of the day Catra and Adora kissed for the first time. Which, in Catra’s mind, was anniversary enough to ask the woman she loved so dearly to marry her. </p><p>Catra picked up the bags and chuckled, following her girlfriend into the kitchen. Adora’s eyes widened as she entered, likely taking note of her overly tangled and messy hair. She clapped a hand to her mouth in slow realization.</p><p>“Catra, the party, remember?” Adora sighed, as she began walking down the hall, towards their bedroom. “Your hair is a disaster, I don’t know if we have time to fix it.” </p><p>“Why don’t I just wear a hat?” Catra teased, following her down the hall. </p><p>“You can’t just <em> wear a hat </em> ,” Adora scoffed. “This is a fancy party, with fancy people, celebrating a fancy event! Well, I guess a solar eclipse is kind of a fancy event. I don’t really know, this planet is so <em> weird </em>.” </p><p>“I thought that was why we decided to stay,” Catra said. “What was it you said? This planet had <em> charm</em>?”</p><p>Adora playfully hit Catra’s shoulder. “That is <em> not </em> what I said.” </p><p>Catra grinned. “Sure. If you say so.” </p><p>Catra pulled the same suit she wore to Princess Prom several years ago out of her closet and slowly put it on. After fiddling with the bowtie in the mirror for several minutes, she eventually gave up and turned around to meet Adora.</p><p>She couldn’t help but let out a gasp.</p><p>Adora was standing there, so innocent and so wonderfully Adora-like, a half smile on her face. She had seen that smile everyday for over twenty years; yet every time she saw it there was something about it that just made her lose her breath.</p><p>Or maybe it was Adora’s dress (or more of Adora <em>in</em> that dress), a sleeveless maroon dress that was so simple yet somehow looked so absolutely stunning when Adora wore it. Stunning enough to make Catra remember why she fell in love with Adora in the first place, even if she even could forget.</p><p>“You look beautiful, Adora,” Catra said, trying to regain her composure. </p><p>Adora blushed. “You, as always, look extremely hot in that suit.” </p><p>Now it was Catra’s turn to blush. Adora extended out her hand and Catra took it, glad to feel the warmth of Adora’s hand against hers. With her free hand, Catra plunged her hand into her pocket one last time, making sure that the box was still there. </p><p>Her fingers enclosed around it, and she gave it one last squeeze before stepping out the door. In just a few hours, she and Adora would be engaged. And everything they had ever wanted, a future free of She-Ra and magic and all the bullshit on Etheria, would be within reach. </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Adora rubbed her bare arm, trying to make the goosebumps disappear. In retrospect, wearing a sleeveless dress to a semi-outdoor party was <em> not </em> the best idea. Not that she usually had great ideas, but this one was especially stupid, now that night had fallen.</p><p>She stared guiltily at the crystal glass in her hand that was filled with a clear, yet fizzy liquid. The glass was still mainly full, Adora had only drunk from it out of respect to the party hosts. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was yet, but she knew she didn’t like the tingling sensation of drinking it. </p><p>“⸺And that’s when I knew what I had to do!” a booming voice interrupted, “I drew my sword from my hip, leaped into the air, and landed on top of the back of beast in a single bound! And in an instant, there was blood and guts everywhere and⸺” </p><p>Adora forced a laugh. She was standing in the middle of a group of people encircled around Adrian Montorzi, a wealthy benefactor who had been paying Adora and Catra well after their “defeat” of the very small Horde presence that remained on Arvori in the aftermath of the war. This was convenient in the fact that Catra had a knack for getting fired from every job she applied to. However, it also had a significant downside in that Adrian Montrozi often threw outrageous parties without any kind of rhyme or reason, and Adora and Catra had to come to each one.</p><p>“Any tales from you, Adora?” Adrian asked, turning his gaze from the crowd of swooning ladies to Adora. “As She-Ra, you should have plenty of experience defeating evil beasts.” </p><p>Adora should have expected this question. Adrian Montrozi was one of the most dramatic people she had ever met; and she had spent a lot of time in the company of Double Trouble and Sea Hawk. </p><p>“You know I’m not She-Ra anymore,” Adora said, forcing a laugh. “Those days are behind me now.” It took everything in her to keep a smile plastered to her face. </p><p>Adrian gave a fake pout, which ensued a similar frown from everyone else in his crowd. “Really? Not even a little bit of adventure every now and then? No Horde to vanquish, no enemy to conquer?” </p><p>“Trust me, Adrian, all the ‘exciting’ things are happening to you,” Adora said, continuing the act.</p><p>Adrian frowned. “Ah, I doubt that.” He raised his glass in a toast. “To She-Ra!” he cried, “the legendary defender of the galaxy! Wait, not just the galaxy, but the <em> universe </em>!” </p><p>Adrian took a dramatic swig of his glass, and everyone in the crowd did the same, laughing and crying. Adora took a polite sip and tried to ignore the building lump in her throat. Her throat got so, so <em> tight </em> every time someone mentioned She-Ra. She-Ra was a figure of the way distant past, someone Adora hoped to never see again. Someone she probably never would see again, not since...</p><p>Adora’s anxious train of thoughts were interrupted by a warm hand on her shoulder. Adora was glad to see Catra, gently grabbing her shoulder and guiding her away from the crowd. </p><p>“Having fun?” Catra asked, a smirk on her face. Catra knew how much Adora loathed Adrian Montrozi, and his frequent toasts at parties.</p><p>“Not really,” Adora said quietly, ashamed that her voice was cracking and tears were building behind her eyes. She couldn’t help it, crowds just <em> did </em> something to her. Just like the mention of the name She-Ra, someone she was so far done with becoming. </p><p>Catra’s smirk quickly faded to concern. She grabbed Adora’s hand and gently led her through the room, until they were standing alone on a balcony. Night had long since fallen, which lit up the balcony in twinkling stars. The gentle flow of the waterfall supplemented any background noise of other couples on the balcony, which was almost a quarter the size of the ballroom. From here, they could see most of the city, lit up in an array of lights. </p><p>Adora felt Catra’s warm hand against the small of her back. It was suddenly so much easier to breathe, knowing that Catra was there. </p><p>“How are you feeling, now that you’re out in the open air? Can you breathe again?” Catra asked. </p><p>Adora wiped her eyes. “Yeah, I can breathe.” </p><p>“Do you want to tell me why you got all Adora-panic-mode in there?” Catra asked gently. </p><p>“Adrian, and his crowds, they’re so… overwhelming,” Adora said quietly. Her hands grabbed the rail of the balcony so hard that her knuckles began to turn white. </p><p>“Did he mention, well, you-know-who again?” Catra asked. “You know you don’t have to follow him around every party.”</p><p>“That’s why he’s <em> paying us </em>, Catra,” Adora hissed. “Or have you forgotten that he practically pays the rent of our big, fancy penthouse? He wants to look special, and She-Ra is the grand prize to his collection of acolytes.”  </p><p>“Hey, there’s no need to get angry,” Catra said. “I’m on your team, remember?”</p><p>Adora bowed her head. “I know. I’m sorry.” </p><p>Catra kissed Adora’s forehead. “It’s okay. I know this is hard for you.” Adora felt Catra move her hand to be on top of hers on the railing. Slowly, she relaxed her grip and felt her body slowly lose its tension. It was so easy to stand out here, in the quietness of the night, leaning against Catra’s shoulder. She could stay out here forever, just watching the stars and the city. </p><p>Adora turned to stare at Catra. She was standing in a way that was so unbothered and yet so regal, in a presence that just demanded the attention of all in the room. Or at least, it demanded Adora’s attention. </p><p>And then there was Catra’s tuxedo, which still managed to give Adora butterflies everytime she put it on. And her hair, which was so messy yet so <em> Catra </em>, that gave off the same boyish feel as the half-grin across her face. Hell, Catra could probably give Adora butterflies with another repetition of the magic words of “hey, Adora.”</p><p>Catra moved her hand from atop Adora’s and placed it in her pocket. </p><p>“Adora, I⸺” Catra began, but she was cut off by a scrawny boy who couldn’t have been older than thirteen running up to Adora, clearly out of breath. </p><p>“Are you, Adora and Catra, from, Etheria?” he asked, gasping for breath. </p><p>Adora exchanged a confused look with her girlfriend. “We are,” Adora said, as Catra removed her hand from her pocket. </p><p>“There’s a message for you. Downstairs,” the boy announced. “You need to go receive it.”</p><p>“Does it have to be <em> now </em>?” Catra demanded. </p><p>“I wouldn’t interrupt you, but it’s urgent. It’s from your friends on Etheria. They’re in trouble.” </p><p>Adora’s heart started racing. “In <em> trouble </em>?” she echoed. </p><p>“That’s what I’m told, yes,” the boy replied.</p><p>Adora started sprinting off the balcony, Catra and the scrawny messenger desperately trailing at her heels. The boy pointed to the stairs and Adora rushed down them, the soldier instincts she had spent so long repressing roaring up.</p><p>They reached the last floor and Adora burst through the door, into a room that resembled a lobby of a hotel. </p><p>“There,” the boy gasped, pointing to a reception desk where a security guard furiously typing on a dusty keyboard.</p><p>“Show us the message,” Adora said.</p><p>The security guarded turned a TV monitor so it faced them. There was a blurry picture of Bow standing in the middle of a field. The video began to play, and the camera jerked a little. As it did, Adora could see a clear battle in the background. Bow came close to the camera, and Adora noticed a large gash on his right shoulder. </p><p>
  <em> “Is this thing on?” Bow asked, his voice slightly blurry. “Yeah? Good.”  </em>
</p><p>Adora found Catra’s hand and held onto it. </p><p>
  <em> “This message is for Adora and Catra, from Etheria,” Bow began. “I don’t know where you guys are, so I’m broadcasting it throughout all major interspace communication networks, and hopefully the right people will get it to you. If not…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bow's face drained of color.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t have a lot of time. The second wave is coming soon, and this message needs to be out before that happens. They’ll shut all communications down, they’ll take even more of us. I can’t afford to lose anyone else. I’ve already lost everything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The attacks began shortly after you left. We didn’t to worry you at first; we thought we could delay it, or maybe push them back, but we were wrong. We were so wrong. It started out as dissenters who benefitted from Prime’s rule, eager to reinstate the Horde in power. But then they brought in forces from other planets, they brought in Keres, and suddenly we were outnumbered.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The princesses are scattered. I don’t know where they are, or if they’re safe. None of us have spoken in a while, not since Keres arrived. I thought I could handle it on my own, but then, then they took Glimmer.”  </em>
</p><p>Adora drew a breath.</p><p>
  <em> “You guys are my last option. I’m not strong enough, I should’ve⸺” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> An explosion knocked the camera to the ground and the camera lens cracked. Smudgy lines split across the screen as several more explosions went off nearby. Bow, who had fallen out of sight, could be heard uttering a string of curses several feet away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Just hurry, Adora! I need⸺”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The video shut off.  </em>
</p><p>It took a minute for Adora to process what she had seen. She felt Catra’s grip on her hand tighten, but Adora couldn’t move. She was frozen, still.</p><p>Etheria was in trouble. Glimmer was gone. And it was all Adora’s fault. If only she hadn’t left on this mission in the first place, maybe this never would have happened. Maybe Bow and Glimmer would be alive and well, but Adora would never know. She was selfish enough to leave when Etheria relied on her the most. Relied on <em> She-Ra </em> the most.</p><p>“Adora,” Catra began quietly. “What are you going to do?” </p><p>The last time someone relied on She-Ra, innocent people got hurt. They even almost died. There was no way Adora was willing to put her friends through that. Yet, there was also no chance in hell that Adora would just sit back and let Etheria burn, either. </p><p>“What I always do,” Adora said firmly. </p><p>The problem was, she couldn’t tell if <em> “what I always do,” </em> referred to saving the day or ruining it. </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Catra had grown accustomed to Adora’s silence. Spending years with the same person would do that to someone. Catra was also used to Adora’s quick pace, the way she could set her mind on a task and just do it, which was a concept Catra was wholly unused to. </p><p>Yet, there was something about this silence that just felt so off. </p><p>Adora had rushed Catra from the party, sputtering and rambling half-sentences about barely-thought-out plans to save Etheria. She immediately started pulling bags from closets, as if it weren’t even a question that they were leaving, it was just something Adora was going to do. She had ripped clothes out of dressers, furiously stuffing object after object into bag after bag. Piles upon piles of clothing were sprawled across their bed as Adora shoved them into abgs. </p><p>Catra, however, had barely even begun to fill her tiny black backpack.<br/>
“Adora, relax,” Catra said, breaking the silence. “We don’t have to leave right this second.”</p><p>“Did you, did you <em> not </em> see that video?” Adora asked, still packing at lightning pace. “Because I saw it, and I was under the impression we should hurry.” </p><p>“It’s a twenty hour flight, minimum, I don’t really think one extra hour of packing will change much.” </p><p>“You don’t know that. And I'm not willing to risk the safety of my friends to find out."</p><p>“I mean, are you sure this is even what you want? To just rush right back into the middle of what’s likely a full-blown war, to just go back to that never-ending routine of endless fighting?” </p><p>“No, of course I don’t want to go back to war!” Adora cried. “I’m still fucked up from the last one! But I can’t just abandon my friends, either!” </p><p>“It’s just, I know what war can do to a person,” Catra said. “It changes people. It takes friends, girlfriends even, and twists them into something unrecognizable.”</p><p>Adora stopped packing and met Catra’s eyes. "This isn't going to be like last time. I promise."</p><p>"I know that, but I just..."</p><p>"Spit it out, Catra," Adora said.</p><p>“Is it selfish to ask you to stay?” Catra asked. “Is it selfish to say that I wish we could pretend that message didn’t exist, that we could just go back to living our lives here and just be happy, for once in our lives?” </p><p>Adora reached across the bed to grab Catra’s hand. “You know I wish we could. But we could happy back on Etheria, right? You could be happy with me?” </p><p>“I’ll always be happy with you,” Catra said. “I just wish there wasn’t a war. Last one was bad enough; how are we going to survive this one?” </p><p>“The same way we do everything else,” Adora smiled.</p><p>“Reckless improvising and dumb luck?”</p><p>Adora laughed. “Well, I was going to get all sappy and say ‘as a team,’ but if you want to critique my leadership skills, that’s fine too I guess.” </p><p>“Even if you only got top grades in Strategy and Tactics as a cadet because you were literally the <em> biggest </em> suck up,” Catra began, which prompted a rise out of Adora, “I love you. And I’ll follow you, to the end of the line.” </p><p>“To the end of the line,” Adora repeated. She leaned over the bed to quickly kiss Catra, then continued her furious packing. </p><p>Catra couldn’t bring herself to pack more than the ring box she had been rolling in her palm for the past hour. They were going to march into the valley of uncertainty, and suddenly Catra's perfect future was just out of reach.</p><p>It seemed silly, but Catra just hated uncertainty.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. chance number whatever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora and Catra arrive on Etheria, only to find the situation worse than anticipated. </p>
<p>CHAPTER WARNINGS:<br/>references to sex/sexual activity, mature language, some violence, mentions of/direct implications of anxiety/PTSD, reccommended for ages 14+</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys, thank you so much for reading that last chapter! Before we begin, I want to address an issue I discovered earlier this morning. When I originally posted this story, there was an unforeseen glitch in the posting, and duplicate copies were posted. These two copies existed together for about twelve hours before I caught the glitch. Unfortunately, one of them had to be deleted. If you found the deleted copy and left comments/tried to save it to somewhere, it is likely you get an error page if you try to open it. This is because that copy has been deleted because of the glitch. I recognize that this glitch might have caused several complications, and I accept full responsibility (as I said earlier, this is my first fic). However, I can promise that this copy that you are currently reading is here to stay, and this is the copy that will be updated. Please feel free to save/leave comments/kudos/bookmark/etc because this copy will NOT be deleted. </p>
<p>If you have no idea what I am talking about in the above paragraph, please disregard that message. That just means you did not find the deleted version. If you still have questions, feel free to leave them in the comments. I am happy to answer any and all questions.</p>
<p>And now, without any further ado, let's get on with the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora had been expecting a battlefield. She had been expecting a war-torn landscape, remnants of bots and machinery strewn across the planet. She had spent the entire flight to Etheria preparing for battle, fully expecting to come out of the ship charging and ready to kick ass. </p>
<p>She stood in front of the ship door, fiercely gripping a staff in one hand and Catra’s hand in the other. She watched the ship door lower slowly, climatically, as if it were the overture before a performance.</p>
<p>What Adora hadn’t been expecting was the skies to be so filled with smoke that they were permanently hazy and grey. She hadn’t been expecting to see Bright Moon castle reduced to nothing but rubble, smoke still billowing from the towers. She hadn’t been expecting the entire planet to be covered in bright red flags, emblazoned with the symbol of the Horde. </p>
<p>Yet, unfortunately, that was all she could see.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Catra stood in front of Adora’s door, digging her claws into her palm. She could feel the skin ripping, the blood piling against her nails, but she didn’t care. She deserved the pain, welcomed it, even. How could someone like her hope for anything more than pain? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> There was only one clear solution left to do, even if it killed her to do it. Adora was too naive to let Catra go, Catra was too stupid to stop wasting her million second chances. Slowly, she raised a bloody fist to the door and knocked. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Adora opened it, bleary eyed and stumbling. It was clear she had been sleeping, which was reasonable given that it was the middle of the night. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, you don’t have to knock,” Adora yawned. “This is your room too, you know. Also, it’s the middle of the night, why are you even still up?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra dug her nails further, wincing at the pain. “I’m leaving.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “What?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Tonight. I’m leaving. I just thought I should say goodbye.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “What the hell are you talking about?” Adora demanded.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Look, I’m not going to drag you down anymore, okay?” Catra said. She could feel tears welling in her eyes, and she furiously tried to blink them back. “That’s something the old me would have done. But I’m not selfish enough to do that anymore. You deserve someone better than me. All I do is waste my chances.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Waste your chances?! What chances?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I know I keep ruining things, Adora.” Catra’s voice was quiet. “It’s what I do. Maybe it’s all I’ll ever do. I don’t belong here. Not with you.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Ruining things?”Adora echoed. “What did you even do?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I...hurt someone. Glimmer.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Oh, Catra, that’s not that bad, I’m sure we can fix this with an apology or⸺” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I made her bleed, Adora,” Catra argued. “Bow had to intervene. I don’t think I’m going to be welcome in Bright Moon much longer.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra⸺” Adora began. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Like I said, I’m leaving.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “So that’s it? You’re just going to leave like that? Do you even have a plan?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I’ll figure it out.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Figure it out? Do you even know where you’re going?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You mentioned something about fixing the other planets,” Catra said. “I figured I’d try there.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You mean like space?” Adora asked, completely incredulous. Catra hadn’t expected her to be this mad. “But that’s so far!” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yeah. That’s the point.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra!” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The tears Catra had been fighting for so long started to spill out onto her face. “Goodbye, Adora.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, wait!” Adora cried. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra turned away and closed her eyes, breathing in the memory of Adora one last time before turning around and walking away.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, I said wait!” Adora cried.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra turned around. Miraculously, Adora had gotten dressed in her usual red jacket and grey pants, and started sprinting down the hall to reach Catra. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “What are you doing?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I’m coming with you,”Adora said, like it was obvious. </em>
</p>
<p><em> “You can’t just come </em> with <em> me,” Catra replied indignantly. “The whole point was to leave you here. Where you belong.” </em></p>
<p><em> “Where I </em> belong <em> is by your side, Catra,” Adora said. “Besides, if we’re going to go to space, we’re going to need a ship. Luckily for you, I happen to own one.”  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> Catra couldn’t help but smile. Here she was, on chance-number-whatever-the-hell, and Adora was still willing to follow her. Into space, for fuck’s sake.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> How in hell did Catra ever manage to get so lucky? </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Adora tied her hair back into her iconic ponytail. Even though Adora had realized how much she preferred to wear her hair down, something about being back on Etheria had seemed so wrong without it. </p>
<p>She and Catra had been following Bow through the Whispering Woods for at least a half hour, making note of fallen trees of stray pieces of armor. It was clear that several battles had happened in the area. </p>
<p>Bow, who had been quietly walking up ahead, slowed down suddenly. Adora pretended not to notice the slight limp he had when he walked, or the long gash down his right leg. </p>
<p>“Bow?” Adora asked quietly, “what’s going on?”</p>
<p>“We’re here,” Bow replied. He was standing in front of a covering of red vines that were blocking the entrance to a familiar cave. It was the same cave they had used as a rebellion base in the very last days of the first war, when most of the rebellion had been compromised.</p>
<p>Bow pushed through the vines, and Adora followed. Inside was a wide cavern, with several alcoves and rooms cut into the sides. A large table was propped in the center, with rows of beds pushed to the back. Adora figured they had been hiding out in the cave for a while. </p>
<p>Only a few people were actually inside. Adora recognized Spinnerella and Netossa, as well as an assortment of various villagers dressed in mismatched armor. </p>
<p>“<em> This </em> is the rebellion?” Catra asked indignantly. “But it’s so...tiny.” </p>
<p>Bow scratched the back of his neck. “We’ve had a lot of losses. Things have been, well, rough. Especially after we lost Glimmer.”</p>
<p>Adora looked at the floor. “Where are the rest of the princesses? Surely they have some kind of rescue mission planned.”</p>
<p>“The princesses, are, well, scattered,” Bow explained. “We haven’t had contact with anyone besides Spinnerella and Netossa in weeks. Either everyone is ignoring us, or something <em> else </em> happened.”  </p>
<p>“Something else?” Catra pressed. “Like what?” </p>
<p>“We don’t know, exactly,” Bow began. “The Second Horde⸺that’s what we’re calling them, anyway, because just calling them the Horde sounds weird because, technically, we already defeated the Horde⸺has this new power. A sorceress. We don’t really know much about her, but we know she’s powerful. Really powerful.” </p>
<p>“Oh yeah, Keres, the sorceress!” Netossa added, walking up next to Bow with Spinnerella. “Real bitch. She nearly killed me. I’d <em> really </em> like to get her back for that one.” </p>
<p>Netossa held up a fist and smirked. Spinnerella offered an apologetic smile. </p>
<p>“We’re all glad to see you two,” Spinerella said. She reached out to hug Adora and Catra. Adora eagerly hugged her back, but Catra stepped back.</p>
<p>“Catra?” Adora asked. “What’s wrong? Don’t you miss everyone?” </p>
<p>Catra scoffed. “Everyone? There’s no one here! Bow said it himself, all the princesses are gone! Well, most of them, at least. How are we supposed to fight a war we know nothing about!”</p>
<p>Adora placed a gentle hand on Catra’s shoulder. “Catra, relax. We can trust Bow.”</p>
<p>Catra scoffed. “Can we? Because I don’t think you told us the whole story yet.” She walked up to Bow and fiercely grabbed him by the strap of his quiver, her face ready to lash out at any moment.</p>
<p>“Catra!” Adora scolded. She knew that Catra and Bow had a falling out, that was one of the reasons they left Etheria in the first place. But she didn’t expect Catra to become outwardly violent towards someone who used to be their friend.</p>
<p>“No, Adora, she’s right,” Bow said. “I haven’t told you everything.” </p>
<p>Catra released her grip on Bow’s strap but she didn’t step back. “I guess you better start talking then.”</p>
<p>“Keres isn’t just some random sorceress,” Bow began. “She’s been closely linked to Horde activity for years, even when Prime was still in power. When the Second Horde first started gaining power, they would have these public, cult-like meetings. Over and over they would chant Keres’s name. We assumed that she was just some person that they were rallying behind to take Prime’s place. We had defeated Prime, what’s one more person?</p>
<p>“But then Keres arrived on Etheria. Like Prime, she was hungry for magic. Etheria happened to be full of it. Soon after her arrival, we lost contact with all the princesses. We don’t know exactly where they are, but we have a good idea.”</p>
<p>“Keres,” Catra concluded aloud.</p>
<p>“I think she’s been using the princesses’ magic to fuel her spells,” Bow said. </p>
<p>“But if Keres wants the princess magic, why are Netossa and Spinerella here?” Adora asked. “Wouldn’t Keres want their magic too?” </p>
<p>“I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with the fact that they don’t have runestones,” Bow said. “If you look at Bright Moon castle, you’ll notice that the moonstone is slowly fading. It’s looked like that ever since Glimmer was taken.” </p>
<p>“Bow, I’m so sorry,” Adora said. “What do you need me to do?” </p>
<p>Bow cleared his throat. It was obvious he had been obsessing over this plan for days. “Well, since Adora is the last Princess who’s still connected to a runestone⸺you know, the one in her sword⸺we’ll use her as bait! Keres will lead Adora straight to where all the other princesses are being kept, in which Adora will transform into She-Ra, pull some sparkly magic action, and save the day! Ta-da!” </p>
<p>Adora could feel herself practically trembling at the mention of the name <em> She-Ra. </em> </p>
<p>“I don’t know, Bow, that sounds kind of risky,” Adora said. “Maybe we should think of a different plan.” </p>
<p>Bow chuckled. “You? Afraid of risks? Are you even Adora?”</p>
<p>“She-Ra isn’t an option,” Catra said, practically growling. “Think of another plan.”</p>
<p>“You guys don’t understand,” Bow argued. “Keres is insanely powerful. The only chance we have against her is with She-Ra. That’s why we called you guys.”</p>
<p>“Well that’s unfortunate,” Catra said icily. “Because unless you think of a new plan, we’re not helping.”</p>
<p>“Calm down, Catra,” Adora warned. </p>
<p>“We’re not asking for much,” Netossa added. “Just a distraction. You don’t actually have to fight anyone.” </p>
<p>“Come on, Adora, don’t let us down!” Spinnerella said.</p>
<p>“Please, Adora, for Glimmer,” Bow pleaded.</p>
<p>“ALRIGHT FINE!” Adora yelled. “I’ll do it.”</p>
<p>Bow playfully hit Adora’s shoulder. “There’s our Adora! Our hero!”</p>
<p>“We knew we could count on you!” Spinnerella said.</p>
<p>Adora gave a weak smile, but she couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in her stomach. Nor could she shake the look on Catra’s face, which looked like a desperate attempt to feign anger in order to hide the fact that her face was slowly losing color.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Catra fell backward into the water fountain. She landed in the shallow water with a loud splash, as water droplets flung into the air. Catra could feel her tail sticking up, and the hairs on the back of her neck sticking on end. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Glimmer was running towards her, laughing. “You look so funny!” she cried, pointing. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> All Catra could see was Glimmer running. The world suddenly looked so distorted, Glimmer’s light hearted laugh suddenly became much darker, her high-pitched voice suddenly resembling that of Horde Prime. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra stood up suddenly, her claws out and ready to strike. The Bright Moon grounds had faded, she was back on Prime’s ship, staring down a pool of water that sizzled with electricity. Prime was running towards her, laughing maliciously. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra charged at him, swiping her claws in a blind rage. Here was her chance to take Prime down, to stop him from hurting her ever again. He didn’t strike back, which was surprising, but it made it all the more easier.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, what are you doing?!” a voice cried. Glimmer. Why was she here? And how did Catra get back into Bright Moon so quickly? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Catra paused. “Glimmer?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yeah, it’s Glimmer,” Glimmer replied. “Who else would it be?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Glimmer’s voice slowly distorted again as Bright Moon shifted back into Prime’s ship. Horde Prime was standing above Catra, somehow ten feet taller than before. It was no matter. Catra continued attacking him, swiping furiously until green blood dripped out of his arms. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, stop! You’re hurting me!” Prime called. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Good,” Catra snarled. She took another furious step and Prime stepped back, losing his footing. She was getting to him. Winning, even.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Catra, stop!” Glimmer cried. Prime’s ship faded away to reveal Bright Moon, fully bathed in sunlight. Glimmer was covered in gashes and cuts, almost like she was scratched. But how? She had been right here the whole time? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Suddenly everything began to click. </em>
</p>
<p><em> Catra was never on Prime’s ship. She had been in Bright Moon the whole time. She wasn’t fighting Horde Prime, she was fighting </em> Glimmer<em>. The same Glimmer, who would sometimes laugh so hard she’d teleport into another room. The same Glimmer who still couldn’t cook anything more than a steam bun. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> And Catra had hurt her. </em>
</p>
<p><em>“Glimmer, wait, I’m sorry!” Catra cried. She ran after Glimmer, who had fallen to the floor, covered in blood. She was on her hands and knees, one of her hands pressed against a wide gash in her side. </em><em><br/></em> <em>“Get the hell away from me!” Glimmer sobbed. She shot out a ball of pink light that hit Catra squarely in the ribs. She flew back into the water fountain, landing again with another terrifying splash.</em></p>
<p>
  <em> Catra leapt up, eager to get out of the water. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “CATRA, GET AWAY!” Bow yelled from across the field. With one shot from his bow, Catra was entangled in a net, kicking and screaming as she wriggled on the ground. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Wait, you don’t understand!” Catra cried. “It wasn’t like that, I was just⸺” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Glimmer stood up slowly. “What the fuck, Catra? I thought we were friends.” </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Catra closed her eyes, desperately trying to simply block out the memory. But it was no use; she had always been doomed to repeat her mistakes, always doomed to never truly be a part of the exclusive Best Friends Squad.</p>
<p>Catra desperately tried to lean into the quiet night of Etheria. After miserably failing at getting any sleep, haunted by nightmares of her past and her future, she had ran out of the base and climbed the nearest tree she could find. Now, all she could do was stare at the dim light eminating from the vine cover, and think about how Adora was somewhere behind that cover, somehow sleeping soundly before going into the slaughter tomorrow.</p>
<p>After everything Adora had been through as She-Ra, after what happened on <em> Cassenus </em>, for fuck’s sake, she was still willing to embrace the war. Catra remembered the moments when the very name “She-Ra” triggered an attack in Adora. Catra would always lead her away and hold her hand, whispering that Cassenus wasn’t her fault and she never had to be She-Ra again.</p>
<p>That was why they ran to Arvori in the first place, anyways.</p>
<p>Or was Adora deluded enough the whole time to think they might one day come back?</p>
<p>“God, Adora, what kind of a mess did you drag us into?” Catra whispered quietly. There wasn’t an answer. Catra didn’t expect one. She had grown used to not having any answers ever since she returned to Etheria.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Adora pushed back the vine cover. It had been so hard to breathe⸺nevermind sleep⸺in that cave full of people who were desperately counting on her. Relying on her. But all Adora ever seemed to do was let people down. She couldn’t bear to face them now.</p>
<p>There was a soft rustle in the trees above. </p>
<p>“Adora?” Catra’s voice called. </p>
<p>Adora walked to the tree where the voice seemed loudest. “Catra? Are you there?”</p>
<p>Catra leapt down soundlessly. “Yeah. I’m here.”</p>
<p>“Can’t sleep?” Adora asked.</p>
<p>Catra nodded.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Me neither.” </p>
<p>Catra slid down against the trunk of the tree. Adora sat down next to her, leaning her head against the cool bark. She grabbed Catra’s hand and held it like a lifeline.</p>
<p>“We’re raiding the Horde tomorrow,” Adora said. “Again.”</p>
<p>“We are,” Catra agreed. </p>
<p>“Are you nervous?”</p>
<p>“Kinda. Are you?”</p>
<p>Adora could feel her stomach tensing. “I’m terrified.”</p>
<p>Catra sat up. “You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to, I’m sure we could find another solution, or something!”</p>
<p>“But they’re <em> counting </em> on me!”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t mean shit!” Catra cried. “They dragged us here, all the way from Arvori, just to march you around as their muscle! You’re practically a glorified bodyguard to them!”</p>
<p>“They’re our friends!” Adora retorted. “We have to help them!”</p>
<p>“Oh, like they helped you? What great friends they are,” Catra said, a note of bitter sarcasm in her voice.</p>
<p>Adora remembered the way Catra had begged her to run away, the fear in her eyes when she first saw Bow after returning to Etheria.</p>
<p>“This isn’t about today anymore, is it?”</p>
<p>“No. It’s not.”</p>
<p>Adora slid herself closer to Catra, so that their thighs were touching. “What happened between you and Glimmer? What made you want to run away so badly?”</p>
<p>Catra paused. “I told you. I ruined things.”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“You don’t want to know.”</p>
<p>“Whatever it is, I can handle it,” Adora said. “Please, just let me be there for you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think you can.” Catra’s voice was quiet. </p>
<p>“You don’t know that. Please Catra, just trust me.”</p>
<p>“I do trust you.”</p>
<p>“Then tell me.”</p>
<p>Catra took a deep breath. “I had an episode.” Her voice was strangely quiet. </p>
<p>Adora’s eyes welled with concern. “Episode?” she echoed.</p>
<p>“Glimmer pushed me into a fountain,” Catra continued. “The water, kind of, triggered something within me. I attacked Glimmer. I thought she was Horde Prime.”</p>
<p>Adora drew a breath. “Catra, I had no idea⸺”</p>
<p>“When I realized what I had done, it was too late. Glimmer was covered in blood⸺her own blood⸺because I had made her bleed. Bow shot me with an arrow and wrapped me in a net. I lay there for hours until he finally cut me free. He didn’t force me to leave, but I figured everyone would be happier, safer even, if I did. They were better off.” </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t be.”</p>
<p>“Then you’re an idiot.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Adora said. “I know. But I’ll still follow you to the end of the line.”</p>
<p>“Promise?”</p>
<p>“I promise.”</p>
<p>Catra slowly slid further down the tree, her head coming to rest in Adora’s lap. Adora started gently stroking her hair, the same way she would after every one of Catra’s nightmares. Catra’s eyes slowly closed as she drifted into sleep in Adora’s lap.</p>
<p>Now that Catra was asleep, there was no one to distact her from the knot gathering in her stomach, which was starting to get so large and massive she could feel it weighing her down. Adora leaned her head against the tree bark, but sleep didn't come. </p>
<p>Adora should've known she wouldn't be able to afford such a luxury. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm just going to leave you guys to unpack all that....</p>
<p>as promised, this fic will update next on Sunday (11/28), so stay tuned! Things really start to heat up in chapter 3!</p>
<p>as always, feel free to leave a comment/kudos! I'm quarantined rn, and comments make me think I'm talking to real people! I appreciate all the love you guys left on my last chapter, I really can't describe the feeling I felt when I woke up and saw that people actually liked my story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. drainage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra worries about Adora.</p><p>Adora leads a rescue mission into the Horde to retrive Glimmer. </p><p> </p><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS:<br/>dark/depressing themes, references to sex/sexual activity (nothing explicit), mature language, some violence, direct implications of anxiety/PTSD, direct implications/references of grief/death, reccommended for ages 14+</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you guys so much for the love on my story! 115 hits, wow! I really didn't expect it to take off like this, but I'm really glad you are enjoying the story! </p><p>As always, comments/kudos are appreciated! Chapter updates next Sunday (12/6) :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra leaned against the side of the skiff. Adora was standing on top of it, soundlessly loading small bags of supplies into the small cargo hold in the hull. The sun had just begun to crest over the tops of the trees, and small rays of light shone into the still-sleeping forest. </p><p>The small amount of rebellion fighters that remained were busy packing skiffs to leave for the mission. Bow had originally planned to take Mara’s ship, but realized it was much too detectable. It would much easier to fly in on a few stolen skiffs, under the cover of sunrise. So, for the past two hours, Catra and Adora had been up, transferring supplies from Darla to their skiff. In the dark. </p><p>Catra rubbed an eye. She hadn’t slept much at all last night; at least, not until she fell asleep in Adora’s lap. However, she could tell without even glancing at the dark bags underneath Adora’s eyes that she hadn’t slept much either. </p><p>There was a certain, unspoken understanding between her and Adora that hadn’t been there before. Sure, she and Adora had always been very close, but ever since last night, Catra felt bonded to Adora in such a new way. Maybe the weight of telling Adora the truth about why she left Bright Moon had weighing down on her too long, slowly separating Catra and Adora apart. Or, maybe, they just had never bothered to ask each other why they were running from Bright Moon in the first place. It was so much easier to just <em> hide </em>, away in Arvori, then ever think about the why. It had been an unasked question that had hung in the air, blackening their future. </p><p>But ever since last night, Catra could see clearly. </p><p>Adora stepped off the skiff. She stood next to Catra, leaning against the wall. Slowly, her head dropped until it was resting on Catra’s shoulder, eyes still half-open.</p><p>“You okay?” Catra asked quietly. </p><p>“Yeah, totally, I just…”</p><p>Catra raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“No. I’m not.” Adora lifted her head to meet Catra’s eyes. “This plan that we’re going to try today, it has me rattled. I don’t know if I can do what they need me to do, I don’t know if I can be She-Ra! Not after the last five years, not after Cassenus…”</p><p>Adora left her voice trail off. </p><p>“It’s okay to be scared, Adora,” Catra said softly. “You don’t have to be strong for everyone.” She grabbed Adora’s face and placed a gentle kiss on Adora’s forehead. </p><p>Bow ran up towards the skiff where they were standing. Catra backed up slowly as he approached. Regardless of what Adora said, she still didn’t trust him. Even if Adora did. Even if he was one of the most trustworthy people on the planet, something still felt so off.</p><p>Hell, this whole fucking mission felt so off. </p><p>But Catra didn’t have time to be angry about how she was being used, or worry about what happened in the past. She had one mission: keep Adora safe, at all costs. Even if it meant taking orders from Bow. </p><p>“All the skiffs are ready,” Bow announced. “Adora, since you’re the bait, you and Catra should get going first. The rest of us will follow you behind soon after.” </p><p>“Got it, thanks Bow,” Adora said. “Good luck out there today.” </p><p>“You too,” Bow grinned. He walked away and Catra climbed on board the skiff, followed by Adora. Catra walked towards the back of the skiff, her hands wrapped around the tiller. </p><p>“Shouldn’t I drive?” Adora asked. “I mean, technically, this is my mission.” </p><p>“You also look half-asleep,” Catra laughed. “I don’t want you to crash into a tree. Again.” </p><p>“<em>I </em> crashed into that tree?” Adora asked, rising to the bait. “You were the one who snatched the tiller!” Adora cried. </p><p>“Yeah, well, you were driving slow,” Catra teased. </p><p>Catra revved the engine and the skiff took off, zooming across the Etherian landscape. Her hair bounced around slightly in her face, but Catra didn’t mind. With the exception of the low rumble of the engine in the background, it was almost peaceful, speeding on the skiff. The warm, Etherian sun was rising in the horizon. Adora was sitting next to Catra, staring at the sunset with a calm half-smile, wind whipping in her absentminded face. </p><p>“It almost looks like the sky back on Arvori, doesn’t it?” Adora asked, breaking the quiet.</p><p>Catra nodded. The slow burn of the sunrise had turned the sky brilliant hues of orange and pink, mixed in with greying clouds. Because of Arvori’s orange sun, it didn’t have a blue sky like Etheria. The sky was always a deep shade of orange, like an eternal sunset. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess it does,” Catra replied. </p><p>“What do you think we would be doing, if we were on Arvori right now?” </p><p>Catra noticed the half-smile on Adora’s face. “Well, seeing as how it’s the fucking crack of dawn, you would have probably just finished your workout, and would have begun to make breakfast,” Catra teased. “And I would have woken up from the smoke because you would inevitably be burning breakfast⸺”</p><p>“⸺that was <em> one </em> time!” </p><p>“⸺because you don’t know how to cook anything that isn’t a ration bar⸺”</p><p>“⸺that doesn’t even make sense, you can’t <em> cook </em>a ration bar⸺”</p><p>“⸺all I’m saying is I’m not the one who got us both banned from Bright Moon kitchen⸺”</p><p>“⸺that fire was <em> your </em>fault⸺”</p><p>“⸺at least <em> I </em>know how to use a fire extinguisher! You sprayed yourself instead of the fire!”  </p><p>Adora laughed, a small smile spreading across her face for the first time in days. Catra could bathe in that smile, the pure innocence of it. There was something about the 5am Adora, backlit by the last streaks of sunlight, that was just so utterly beautiful. So incredibly, well, Adora. </p><p>“Thank you, Catra,” Adora said. Her voice was much softer now. Almost serious.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For distracting me,” Adora began. “For making me laugh, even when my heart is racing and I feel like I’m about to throw up and⸺”</p><p>Catra placed her hand on Adora’s chin and gently tilted her face towards hers. “Hey. There’s no need to get nervous. I’ll be with you the whole time.” </p><p>“But the plan, we’re splitting up, you’re going to rescue Glimmer and I’m going with Bow to distract Keres and⸺”</p><p>“I won’t let <em> anything </em> happen to you,” Catra said. “I promise, I’ll keep you safe.” </p><p>“We seem to do a lot of promising these days,” Adora mused.</p><p>“What else do we have to rely on besides each other? You’re all I have, Adora.” </p><p>“I am?” </p><p>“Yeah. You are.”</p><p>“Well I guess, in that case, you wouldn’t mind distracting me a little more?”</p><p>Catra smiled for the first time in days. “I think we both could use a little distraction…” </p><p>Catra took the hand that wasn’t steering the skiff and wrapped it around Adora’s back, pulling her in close to kiss her, <em> really </em>kiss her. She felt Adora kiss back, passionately kissing her with all that she had. Adora’s arms wrapped around her neck, slowly dissolving the gap between their bodies. Catra kept reminding herself to open her eyes, to steer, but it was so easy to let her mind fall into the kiss, and they were steering over an open field…</p><p>“You two seem to be really focused there!” Bow called over the wind. Catra snapped back to reality, jolting the tiller to turn the skiff back on course. She hadn’t even heard the whir of Bow’s skiff approach, but apparently, he had been following behind them for quite some time.</p><p>“Oh please, I’m only a little off course!” Catra called back, suddenly very cross.</p><p>“Well get back on course, then!” Bow yelled. “We’re almost at the Horde!” </p><p><em> We’re almost at the Horde! </em>Catra’s mind echoed, so menacingly. The last time Catra was at the Horde, her mind was replaced with someone else’s and she had to watch as they took the controls. Someone else made her hurt the one person she vowed so many times over to keep safe. </p><p>This mission suddenly got a lot more harder than Catra had been anticipating.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Adora crouched against the wall, tipping her head up to stop breathing so loudly. She had been leading the team through the Horde. As soon as they rounded this corner, they would split into two teams: one comprised of Catra, Netossa, and Spinnerella to find Glimmer; the other comprised of Adora and Bow, who would distract Keres long enough for the mission to go underway.</p><p>The thought of Adora distracting Keres was enough to make her lose her breath. The only way she stood a chance to Keres was through becoming She-Ra. But she hadn’t transformed into She-Ra in years. How was she supposed to do it now?</p><p>Adora could feel her face slowly losing color. She felt a warm hand on top of hers on the staff. Catra's hand. Adora looked up and smiled gratefully. </p><p>“Alright, we’re clear,” Netossa said, peering from the edge of the wall they were hiding behind. “Team A, let’s move out.” </p><p>Catra gave Adora one last squeeze before darting across the wall next to Netossa and Spinnerella. She hid between one of the posts of the wall, making eye contact with Adora.</p><p>“I love you,” she mouthed. </p><p>Adora grinned sheepishly. “I love you too.” </p><p>Netossa darted down the hallway, and Catra followed, gone with one last swish of her tail. Adora gripped the staff and turned right. In front of her, there was a door, one that used to lead to Hordak’s sanctum. Adora turned and charged her shoulder through it, opening the door with a crash. </p><p>“That’s not right,” Adora said, stopping in the doorway. She wasn’t looking at Hordak’s sanctum, even though it should be here. She was just standing in her old locker room, where she and Catra had spent so many hours after training. </p><p>“This doesn’t look much like a sanctum to me,” Bow mused.</p><p>“Because it’s not,” Adora said. “But it should be here! I don’t understand, why isn’t it here? And the locker room shouldn’t be here, that’s on the opposite side of the Horde!” </p><p>Adora’s confused voice was suddenly overwhelmed by one much louder. It sounded like a distorted laugh, like someone had taken a child’s laugh and played it through a broken speaker. It seemed to almost burn the edges of Adora’s brain the longer it echoed through. </p><p>“Keres?” Bow asked quietly. He didn’t really sound like he wanted an answer.</p><p>Adora felt the floor lurch beneath her as the room moved around them, slowly shifting into something that completely different. The brightly colored lockers faded away to dark, cavernous walls. Each was lit up by a torch that burned bright, purple flames. At the back of the room was an empty  throne, blocked by piles of and piles of the assorted items. A piece of a Horde soldier helmet; shoes, lots of shoes; bread that was covered in ugly, green mold, even a ripped up sail, balled up at the top of the pile. One corner of the sail was seared, as though it had been recently burning.</p><p>“Did you find me yet?” asked a voice. Like the laugh, it was distorted. It would have been completely incomprehensible if it wasn’t also echoing through Adora’s head. “I didn’t realize we were playing a game.” </p><p>Adora turned around. A girl was standing in the doorway. She was tinier than Adora expected, probably not much older than fifteen. Her head was cocked to one side, which illuminated one side of her body in light from the hallway, and covered the other in darkness. As she stepped forward, Adora could see her eyes. One was a soft blue, like Adora’s. The other one looked purple at first, but it looked <em> broken </em> somehow. As if the color from her irises was leaking out into the whites of her eyes. She had a thick mat of black hair, with vibrant streaks of purple messily woven through it. </p><p>“This isn’t a game, Keres,” Bow said “You’ve had our friends⸺and my <em> wife </em>⸺for too long! We’re here to put a stop to your short-lived rule.”</p><p>Keres’s head snapped to focus on Bow. She walked towards him, taking slow, dramatic strides. </p><p>“Is that what you really think?” Keres cackled. “That you can just walk in here, in <em> my </em> throne room, and save your <em> prin-cess </em>?” She said, pronouncing princess like it were the lyrics to a song Adora never wanted to hear. She walked up next to Bow until her breath was fogging on his face, and jerkily shot her hand up. Her hand tightly grabbed his chin. Bow squirmed, desperately hitting at her arm, but his head was fixated in her grasp.</p><p>“Put him down!” Adora cried. </p><p>“You think you’re so brave, huh, arrow-boy?” Keres mocked, as if Adora weren’t there. “Ah, I can see everything now. Arrow-boy is the name Catra called you. You feel guilt at that name, Catra. Don’t you?”</p><p>“How do you know that?” Bow gasped, his voice loosing air. </p><p>“How my gifts work are none of your concern,” Keres hissed. “Catra’s here, isn’t she? Trying to save your precious Glimmer? I guess I could try and stop her, but everything I want is right here! Glimmer wasn’t much use to me anymore anyway, not after I took everything from her. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she had died in her cell, she was not looking too good…”</p><p>“Put him down, Keres!” Adora cried. At the mention of her name, Keres’s neck snapped almost 180 degrees to face Adora. She dropped Bow and he fell to the floor with a loud thud. </p><p>“So <em> that’s </em> where you’ve been hiding!” Keres let out another derisive laugh. “Glad to see I can finally hear you. You’re the last piece, I think you’ll make a fine addition to my collection.” </p><p>“Collection?” Bow echoed weakly, still struggling on the floor. </p><p>“I’m not joining anyone’s collection!” Adora cried. She flung her staff and raised her hand into the air. “<em> For the honor of Greyskull!”  </em></p><p>A faint sparkle appeared at Adora’s fingertips, then quickly faded away. Adora’s bravado melted as she watched her entire plan crumble. Keres cackled and seized Adora by her shirt, pulling her in so Adora’s face was inches from Keres’s chin. </p><p>“So little fight in you,” Keres mused, tracing her hand along Adora’s limp arm. Adora shivered. “Ah well, I guess it’ll make draining you that much easier.”</p><p>Bow came charging after Adora, but Keres was was quicker. She took her free hand and jerkily thrust it at Bow. A ball of searing, purple fight rushed out of her hand, narrowly missing Bow’s chest. In fact, Adora was sure there was even a sizzle as it scorched the corner of his crop top. </p><p>Keres placed an ice-cold hand on Adora’s forehead. Slowly, all the warmth in Adora’s body started gravitating towards Keres’s hand, slowly leaving her feet and hands motionless, as if they were dead. The feeling quickly spread, draining away Adora’s limbs and the edges of her vision. Slowly, the color began to fade to the world, leaving everything a hopeless grey. Bow was calling out to her, but his voice was so loud and weird, as if Adora was hearing a slow-motion playback. She could feel everything draining, and fading, leaving her to just hang there, lie there, slowly drifting away…</p><p>Keres dropped her hold on Adora and she slowly fell to the floor, everything slowly turning to black.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Catra bent down over the prison logbook. She had been walking around the Horde with Spinnerella and Netossa for the past half hour, but the location of everything seemed to keep changing. They had eventually found the prison buried in the basement, which was weird, because it was still several stories tall. </p><p>Catra searched anxiously through the prison logs from the command center. Netossa and Spinnerella were both breathing over Catra’s shoulder, so close that Catra could feel their breath on her skin. She desperately wanted to push them back, but she didn’t have time to worry about that now.</p><p>She had to cooperate. For Adora. </p><p>Even if that meant she had to split into the opposite team as her. She couldn’t fight Bow anymore, she couldn’t risk him kicking her out again. </p><p>“Did you find Glimmer yet?” Netossa asked anxiously.</p><p>Catra took a deep sigh. <em> Ten, nine, eight, seven…. </em></p><p>“No. I’m still looking.”</p><p>“Well, look faster! We’re running out of time!”</p><p>Another sigh. “I’m trying.”</p><p>“Just hurry⸺”</p><p>“⸺I found her!” Catra interrupted. “Cell 6B. You two go and get her, I’ll stand guard here.”</p><p>Netossa and Spinnerella nodded, heading off towards the cell. Catra leaned against the glass walls of the command center, desperately trying to catch her breath. She had made herself promise to cooperate, to bite back her fears, but fighting fear was harder than she thought. If only Adora were here...</p><p>“Catra, we’ve got Glimmer,” Netossa said through the coms. “She’s not really conscious, but I think she’ll be alright. Where’s the rest of the princesses?”</p><p>Catra flipped through the prison log. “I don’t see them here.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense,” Spinnerella said. “We haven’t heard from any of them in days, we assumed they’d all been captured! Are you <em> sure </em> you can’t find them?”</p><p>Catra sighed again. <em> Six, five, four.. </em></p><p>“Glimmer’s the only one here. If Keres did capture the rest of the princesses, she’s keeping them somewhere else.”</p><p>Their conversation was interrupted by Bow's voice anxiously patching through the coms. “Did you guys find Glimmer yet?"</p><p>
  <em>Three, two...</em>
</p><p>"Yeah, we got her, but we couldn't find any of the other⸺" Netossa began.</p><p>"⸺Just get to the skiffs, now!" Bow demanded.</p><p>"Wait, what?" Catra asked. "The skiffs? Why, did something go wrong?"</p><p>Bow's voice was quiet. "Yeah. Something went wrong."</p><p>Any bit of patience and trust that Catra had been holding onto was gone as her heart quickly dropped to the floor.</p><p>
  <em>One.</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Catra had many fears. Water. electricity. Horde Prime. Shadow Weaver. They all haunted her in her dreams, taking turns as if performing a never ending show, one that Catra was forced to watch, as if they strapped to her to a seat and held her eyes open. </p><p>The only way Catra had ever managed to survive the nightmares was Adora, who would hold her in her arms each time she woke up, gently stroking her hair until she could fall back asleep. Adora, who would fall asleep curled up against her chest, the warmth of her body reminding Catra that not everything had to be so cold.</p><p>The sight of Bow, holding Adora’s lifeless body in his arms as he slowly walked to the skiffs, a dejected sort of agony all over his limping body, was something Catra never even considered. </p><p>It was <em> Adora </em>, after all. She had survived deathly poison and explosions that should have killed her several times over. She was She-Ra, for fuck’s sake! She wasn’t supposed to die! She wasn’t allowed to! It couldn’t be real, it had to be some kind of sick trick…</p><p>Catra couldn’t believe it. Not until Netossa’s sudden and sharp “oh my god,” as she started running towards Adora, and the way the world just stopped and slowed down as Bow kept walking, so agonizingly slowly. Then came Glimmer’s faint “Adora?” that made Catra want to punch her, because why did Glimmer of all people get to live when Adora was lying there like that in Bow’s arms?</p><p>And then there was Catra’s own scream, which was slow and rumbling, fire slowly burning away her throat as she watched her very world set ablaze. It was completely inaudible, like someone gasping for breath before drowning in darkness, because it might as well have been the last thing Catra ever said. It started caught in the middle of illusion and denial, just barely escaping her lips because that was <em> not </em> Adora lying limp like that, it couldn’t be; followed by the slow yet quick dawning of realization that was a blinding punch to the gut as Catra took what felt like her last breaths; ending with a lament that could only be described as a noise that was dead and dying yet never-ending, carrying on forever as it distorted further and further.</p><p>
  <em><strong> “A-DOR-A!”</strong> </em>
</p><p>Someone placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder. Catra didn’t have the strength to move it.</p><p>“Give her to me,” Catra heard herself say. Bow nodded, as least he respected her in that sense, shifting Adora’s body into Catra’s wide arms. Tears burned in her eyes as she held Adora close to her chest. She was surprised to find her body so <em> cold </em>, as if all the warmth had been drained out of it. </p><p>“Is she…?” Catra couldn’t even finish the sentence. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Bow said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Catra. I should’ve been better, quicker; maybe I could have saved her.” </p><p>Catra could feel her claws flashing. “Yeah. You should’ve.” Her voice was cold. Icy. She could see Bow’s tears gathering in his eyes but she didn’t care; there was gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. What was the point in even trying to be better, if the one person you were trying for was gone?</p><p>Adora stirred. Catra’s heart skipped a beat.</p><p>“Adora?” </p><p>“Catra,” she said faintly. Catra couldn’t be sure if she was imagining it or not. </p><p>“I’m here Adora, I’m here,” Catra repeated, stroking her hair like Adora had done for her so many times. </p><p>Adora’s eyes fluttered open, for just a second. </p><p>“Take me home.”</p><p>Her eyes closed again and her head dipped back, but there was a small warmth to her face that hadn’t been there before.</p><p>Catra placed a soft kiss on Adora’s forehead. “Don’t worry, Adora. We’re going home. We’re going home.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. promise, unfulfilled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora relives a memory she would rather forget.</p><p>Catra makes a confession.</p><p> </p><p>STORY WARNINGS:<br/>mature language, direct implications of grief and death, (fake) major character death, depictions of violence, direction implications of anxiety</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this might possibly be my favorite chapter in the entire work.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Adora held Catra’s hand in one hand, her sword in the other. She could feel Mara’s ship slowly descending, jerkily tossing around as it tried to land on the rocky surface. Melog repeatedly skid across the floor with each new jolt, mewing in protest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Catra laughed. “I don’t think Melog likes this planet very much.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ah well, they never leave the ship,” Adora teased. “I’m sure Melog will like it just as much as they liked the rest of the planets.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” Catra asked, squeezing Adora’s hand.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No,” Adora snorted. “I’m never sure of anything. But I have to do this. It’s my job.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The gangplank slowly began to lower. For good luck, Adora stole a quick kiss from Catra before she was in view of the crowd that had gathered beneath the ship.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s the She-Ra!” someone from the crowd cried in amazement.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A man from the crowd stepped forward. He was very short, probably no taller than Adora’s waist, with a large bald spot at the crown of his head. His hair, which had once been a lively shade of orange, was now faded and grey. He was plump, and smiling with a smile that felt strangely off, even if it was benevolent. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “She-Ra, Catra!” he announced, with a short bow. “Welcome to Cassenus.” </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Catra sat anxiously by Adora’s bedside. She was squeezing her limp hand for comfort. Adora’s hand was still bitterly cold, like a block of ice, but Catra didn’t care. She couldn’t bring herself to let go.</p><p>Adora stirred. “Cassenus,” she said quietly, before drifting back into stillness.</p><p>“Cassenus?” Catra echoed, her heart racing. She looked wildly around the cave for support. “Why is she saying Cassenus? She shouldn’t be saying that name, she wouldn’t! What the hell is happening to her?” </p><p>“According to my research, Cassenus is a planet,” Entrapta said loudly. Catra didn’t even realize Entrapta had been in the rebellion until about five minutes ago, but apparently she had been there the whole time, shifting through the backrooms and fiddling with tech. </p><p>But it was too late to mull over the whereabouts of everyone in the small rebellion. Catra had more important things to worry about. Namely, Adora, who had just whispered a name Catra thought she’d never hear again.</p><p>“Yeah, I know that!” Catra cried. “We’ve been there! But Cassenus isn’t important! Entrapta, tell me what’s going on! Is Adora okay?”</p><p>“She’s fine,” Entrapta explained, walking over to Catra. “According to my studies, Adora <em>should</em> be able to recover.”</p><p>“Should?” Catra echoed. It was suddenly very hard to breathe. <em>“Should</em> isn't enough! Entrapta, what did Keres do?!”</p><p>“I’ve been researching Keres ever since she arrived on Etheria,” Entrapta began, now moving about the cave in wild circles. “She’s from the Imora Guild of Sorcerers. They’re Siphoners who drain the magic out of things and use it to fuel their spells.”</p><p>“Siphoners?” Catra repeated, her voice bordering on hysterics. “What the fuck does that mean?” </p><p>“It means that they rely on other sources of magic to fuel their power!” Entrapta cried. “It’s so amazing, with one touch they can drain all the magic and warmth out of a person until they’re nothing but a cold, lifeless corpse!” </p><p>Catra made a low hissing noise that eerily resembled that of a balloon, slowly losing air. Which was almost ironic, giving that Catra felt like she was about to deflate. </p><p>“...Or it’s awful, that too,” Entrapta added nervously. </p><p>“What does that mean for Adora and Glimmer?” Bow asked, approaching Adora’s bed. “Did Keres, you know, <em> siphon </em> them?”</p><p>“I think so,” Entrapta said. “Judging by the fact that they’re still alive, Keres didn’t get to absorb their full power. Even with power as vast as hers, I think there’s a limit to how much she can siphon at a time, so she’s probably been chipping away at Glimmer’s power since she’s been in captivity. Glimmer should be okay in a few hours. Adora...I don’t think she’ll be so lucky.” </p><p>“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WON’T BE SO LUCKY?!” Catra bellowed. “THIS IS ADORA, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT, REMEMBER?! SHE HAS TO BE OKAY, TELL ME SHE’LL BE OKAY!”</p><p>Entrapta jumped back. “Without the protection of She-Ra, Adora’s been left defenseless. I think she’s locked in some sort of nightmarish sleep-state, forced to relive her worst memories!” </p><p>“What does that <em> mean </em>?!” Catra demanded. </p><p>“It means Adora’s alive, just in a coma,” Entrapta explained, her voice wavering as Catra began staggering over her, claws at the ready. “Her body will be fine while she sleeps, but her mind will be locked in whatever memories remained after Keres drained them. Seeing as how Keres drains warmth and happiness first, the memories won’t be pleasant.”</p><p>“There must be some way out of it!” Catra said, her voice a strange mix of wild hysteria and outright aggression. “TELL ME THERE’S A WAY OUT OF IT!” </p><p>“We’re on the same team, Catra, relax!” Bow cried. Catra took a breath. She didn’t realize she had been holding Entrapta by the hem of her shirt, shaking her like a rag doll. She slowly put Entrapta down, her head bowed. </p><p>““I’m just worried about Adora.” Catra attempted an apology, but it was worthless. Adora was gone, and all Catra could do was hopelessly, desperately even, try to stay calm and fight the hysteria that was fighting its way to the surface. </p><p>“We all are,” Bow said. He placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder. She brushed it off and huffed away to the stool next to Adora’s cot, her head bowed over Adora. </p><p>“What is your problem?!” Bow demanded. “I’m trying to help you!” </p><p>“Forget about me!” Catra cried. “We need to focus on Adora, who according to Entrapta, is in a coma, reliving all the things she’d rather forget! Like, well….” </p><p>Catra felt all the anger and frenzied hysteria that had been carrying her slowly drain out. </p><p>“Like Cassenus,” she finished quietly. She grabbed Adora’s hand and squeezed it, this time to give herself strength, instead of the other way around. </p><p>Bow stepped back. “Entrapta, is there a way out of the sleep-state?” </p><p>“Theoretically? Yes.” Entrapta said. “If Adora manages to overcome the fear that she’s reliving in the dreamscape, she should be able to wake up. But it’s never happened before.” </p><p>Catra drew a breath. The quiet was gone. The wave was back, and she could feel the hysteria, the anger rising to the surface. It was bubbling over, like something overdone, something dark and evil that she had repressed for so long clawing its way back up. Catra tried to fight the tears welling her eyes, but that was a doomed battle. They spilled over onto her cheeks, burning like acid on the way down until they agonizingly dripped off her chin. </p><p>She could hear Bow and Entrapta still debating, but their voices were drowned out by the voices in Catra’s own head. She could Adora’s, but it was faint, as if it were leaving, as if it were the last time she might ever hear it….</p><p>In a fit of blind rage, claws out, she tore whatever she could; the walls, discarded pillows, Bow’s own skin as he tried to pin her back and calm her down. Why did he have to try so hard to make everything right? Couldn’t he see how broken she was? Couldn’t he see that whatever trust that had been between them was gone? </p><p>“Relax, Catra, relax!” Bow was crying. He grabbed her forearms, restricting her movement. Catra kicked and thrashed, bending down and slicing a hole in one last black backpack.</p><p>The pocket drooped open, and a small black box fell out of it. Catra reached out and caught it. </p><p>“What’s that?” Bow asked, slowly letting go of Catra. </p><p>“Nothing,” Catra said coolly, walking away quickly, with her fist tightly enclosed around the box. </p><p>“Is that an engagement ring? For Adora?” </p><p>“What do you care?”</p><p>“Dammit Catra, I am <em> trying </em>to help you! I get that you’re going through a lot right now, we all are! Can’t you at least try?” </p><p>Catra brushed Bow off, firmly clutching the box in her hand. </p><p>“No.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Adora politely followed Vries, the councilman who had welcomed them to Cassenus, around what remained of a city nearby. Prime’s trace was significantly noticeable there, ruins of discarded spires and ships lay across torn down buildings. It looked like some kind of apocalyptic dimension, as if Prime were the only thing that had truly ever survived there.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Prime was definitely here a lot, huh?” Adora asked, attempting to make conversation.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He had to keep sending forces,” Vries explained. “There were a lot of rebel outbursts here. A lot of people here could use magic. Well, more of draw magic away from other living vessels. People thought they could band together and stop Prime since he first invaded. It never worked, though.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry that happened to you,” Adora said. “At least you’re free of Prime now.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well, we are free of Prime, but we don’t have our magic back,” Vries explained. “It seems so silly, but we miss it. It was such an important part of the culture here, and the Isono Meteor Shower is supposed to come soon. We used to pull magic from it to fuel our growing seasons for the next ten years.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “So, without magic, you can’t grow food?” Catra asked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vries shook his head. He bent down and scooped his hands through the dry dirt of the planet. “Cassenus is too dry. That’s why we called you here, She-Ra. We know you have healing abilities. We want you to heal our planet and restore our magic.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Restore your magic?” Adora asked. “I, I don’t know. I’ve never done anything like that.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sure it can’t be too hard for the great and powerful She-Ra!” Vries cried. “Besides, if you don’t, how we will survive the next ten years?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora stared at Vries’s pleading face. “Fine, I’ll do it.” She held out her sword. “What do you need me to do?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vries laughed. “You think you can restore the magic of a whole planet, just like that? Our magic is very complex. It will take a very complex ceremony to restore it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Complex ceremony?” Catra echoed. “Like what?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The Isono Meteor Shower! It’s supposed to happen tomorrow night, I’m sure it will give you plenty of power to restore our magic. Once our magic is back, we’ll perform our own ceremony to save our crops.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora felt as if all the breath had been knocked out of her. Vries trotted away, singing gleefully to himself.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t like the sound of using that meteor shower, Adora,”Catra said. “It sounds dangerous.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, it is dangerous, dearie,” an old woman interrupted. Adora didn’t even realize she had been following them. Like Vries, she was short and pudgy. However, unlike Vries, she was covered in intricate tattoos that formed spirals and patterns from the tips of her fingers to her temples.  </em>
</p><p><em> “What do you mean, </em> dangerous <em> ?”Catra demanded. </em></p><p>
  <em> “The Isono Meteor Shower produces a lot of power,” the woman continued. “That’s why we perform the Crop Restoration Ceremony in a large group, to distribute the magic. Absorbing too much magic on our own could overload our power. But, you’re She-Ra, I’m sure it’ll be fine!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora looked at her reflection in the sword. Usually, the sword gave her so much hope and strength in herself. Now, the only thing she could see was the face of someone who was scared. Too scared to be the warrior that everyone needed her to be.  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Catra leaned over Adora’s cot. She had wheeled it away from the main medbay into a secluded alcove of the cavern. She had been so insistent on remaining by Adora’s side the whole time she slept, but then Glimmer woke up. Bow had, of course, immediately rushed to her side, and the two hadn’t stop talking since. The nonstop chatter was driving Catra up a wall. </p><p>Catra grabbed Adora’s hand and pressed it to her lips, gently kissing her worn fingers. </p><p>“Entrapta said that while you sleep you’ll be stuck reliving your worst memories,” Catra began. “I think I can figure out what those are pretty quickly. I guess that’s one of the perks of having been by your side this whole time. You know Cassenus wasn’t your fault, right?” </p><p>Adora laid motionless on the cot.</p><p>Catra sighed. “Look, I’m not all that great at the whole sharing-my-feelings bit. Neither of us are. Just know that I miss you, okay?” </p><p>Adora twitched briefly, but then sank back into a motionless sleep that Catra hoped was at least somewhat peaceful.</p><p>“It’s almost sunset,” Catra continued, trying again. “You used to love the sunsets here. I remember all those nights when we still lived in Bright Moon. You used to always wander out onto that balcony we had. Just like old times, I guess. And then Melog and I would follow you. We would sit out there, in the silence, just watching the stars that were still so new. Sometimes, even Bow and Glimmer would join us and⸺”</p><p>Catra didn’t let herself finish the sentence. </p><p>“Nevermind. Just, wake up soon, okay? I’m a wreck without you.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Adora stood in front of a very large tree. It was similar to the one that held Perfuma’s runestone back on Etheria, but several times larger. It reached up into the sky for at least 300 feet, maybe more, with a wide sprawl of leaves and branches of all different colors.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Underneath the moonlight, the tree looked quite magical. Colors from the leaves reflected off onto the ground, covering the dirt floor in an array of colorful patches. If she weren’t so nervous, she might have been dancing with Catra underneath the lights. There were several people playing various instruments and drums in the back, and children laughing underneath the lights. It almost resembled one of the many Arvorian parties that Adora and Catra had attended. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A shooting star streaked across the sky in a white beam of light.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It is time to begin,” Vries announced, clapping his hands together. “She-Ra, if you please.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora nodded. She stepped towards the tree and pointed her sword to the sky. Slowly, she could feel the energy begin to gather on the sword as more and more stars shot across the sky. The sword became heavy with all the magic, but Adora didn’t let it waver. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Everyone was relying on her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The sword began to glow a bright white. Jolts of bright, white magic leapt off the sword and onto the trunk of the tree, rushing up until they fizzed in the leaves. Adora could feel the dry, cracked ground beneath her starting to re-grow grass and trees.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s working!” Vries cried. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Suddenly, the amount of stars in the sky began to double. The sword got brighter and brighter with magic, getting increasingly heavier as it did. Adora groaned, her arms trembling as she struggled to hold the sword. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Catra stepped forward. “Stop the ceremony, can’t you see that you’re hurting her?!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not yet, the ceremony isn’t complete!” Vries argued, placing a hand in front of her. “She can’t stop now! We could lose everything!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The sword felt like lead in Adora’s hands. A big star shot across the sky and Adora’s arms trembled. She was struggling to keep the sword straight, it was spinning in circles as her arms continued trembling. The sword kept lowering and lowering until it was pointing directly at the top of the tree. The edges of Adora’s vision were fading, everything was becoming fuzzy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A beam of light shot off the tip of the sword like a rocket, causing Adora to drop the sword. The beam of light collided with the tree, and a loud bubble of sparks collected at the impact sight, slowly gathering more magic as it became brighter and brighter. Adora collapsed to the ground, her vision flickering. She tried to reach a hand towards her sword, which was only a few feet away. She just needed a little more strength, a little power, to reach a little further…. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The trunk of the tree exploded, sending out a fiery shockwave to everyone in the nearby vicinity. Adora watched it pass over her, as the crowd below fell to the ground in a fury of screaming and crying. The aftermath of the wave billowed out like a curtain towards the far edges of the horizon. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora could barely see, barely hear anything besides a loud ringing noise. And a voice that was repeating over and over in her head. It sounded like Catra, but a strangely more matured version of her.  </em>
</p><p><em>“</em>Wake up soon, okay<em>?”</em> <em>the voice said. “</em>I’m a wreck without you<em>.”</em></p><p>
  <em> The voice was the last thing she heard before her vision faded away. </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Catra rolled the small black box over in her hand. It had been her comfort object, something to hold onto when everything seemed so out of control. At first she didn’t need it, she just remained by Adora’s side, faithfully waiting for her to awake.</p><p>But then several days had passed, and Adora was still asleep. </p><p>Catra could feel her eyelids getting heavy as dark circles grew thicker underneath her eyes, but she refused to sleep. What if Adora woke up? She <em> had </em> to be there when Adora woke up.</p><p>“Can I tell you something?” Catra asked, desperately trying to keep her mind off of her building sense of worry. The rebel cavern was silent, most people had gone to sleep hours ago. As long as she kept her voice down, Catra could see no reason why she couldn’t continue talking to Adora. It was the only fathomable way to get through this. </p><p>Catra held out the box to Adora. “I bought this for you on our last day on Arvori. I didn’t know it would be our last day at the time, I thought we would stay there forever. I held onto this box when things got rough between us, it was a tangible piece of a promise. A promise I was going to make you, a promise of the future we always wanted. I know it seems silly, but it sometimes felt like I could see that future as long as the box was in my hands.”</p><p>Catra bowed her head. “I was being selfish. I wanted you all to myself, I always have. I probably always will. It’s a side effect of growing up the way I did, I never quite knew how to <em> fit in </em>. Not with anyone who wasn’t you, anyways. I guess I thought that if I had already pushed Bow and Glimmer away, there was no reason to ever return to Etheria. You were all I ever really needed.</p><p>“But there was always going to be a reason to return to Etheria, I should have known that. It was, and still is, our home. You were right, Adora, I <em> was </em> running. And I was trying to bring you with me. And it was selfish, and I’m sorry. You deserve better than someone like me.” </p><p>Adora twitched in her sleep. Days ago, Catra’s heart would have leapt. Now, it was just another reason to agonize hopelessly, and pray that Adora wasn’t suffering. </p><p>“I should have proposed to you way before now,” Catra continued. “But I was⸺well, am⸺a coward. I was afraid of you saying no, I was afraid of commitment, I was afraid of what I couldn’t see. If  you were here, you would say I shouldn’t be afraid. And maybe I shouldn’t be. But I can’t help it.”</p><p>Catra opened the box. Inside it was a gemstone ring, set in a gold casting. It was a teal gem, in similar color to that of She-Ra’s sword.Catra gently removed the ring and held it up for Adora.</p><p>“Adora, I’m going to make you a promise,” Catra said. “If, by some amazing miracle, you wake up from your coma, I am going to propose to you. I will get on my knees and beg for you to marry me if I have to, because I am so done with being a coward. I am so done with empty promises that empty dreams. I am so done with this ring representing nothing more than just a promise, unfulfilled.</p><p>“You are my everything, Adora. You are the reason I wake up in the morning, and you are in my dreams⸺my good ones⸺every night. I can’t⸺<em> won’t⸺ </em>lose you again. I love you too much to ever let that happen.”</p><p>Adora stayed motionless in her cot. Catra moved a stray hair off of her face and gently kissed her forehead.</p><p>“I love you, Adora.” </p><p>Catra tried to ignore the fact that her voice broke as she said it. </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Adora!” a voice cried. “Adora!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora sat up slowly. Catra was holding her head in her lap, peering over at her. She was shaking her shoulders wildly, as if trying to shake Adora back into life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Adora, wake up!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora blinked. “Catra?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m here Adora, I’m here,” Catra said gently. Adora leaned back into Catra’s chest, the world still spinning dizzily.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Did I do it? Did I save everyone?” Adora asked, still somewhat delirious.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Catra bit her lip. Adora’s heart sank. That wasn’t a good sign. Slowly, memories of the past hour came rushing back, and Adora remembering how the tree exploded, how she wasn’t strong enough, how she passed out just after watching everyone else get blown back a hundred feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She was too weak to be the She-Ra they needed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Dammit, I’m such an idiot!” Adora cried. “I ruined it, didn’t I?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re damn right you did,” an angry voice interrupted. Vries. “Thanks to you, we can never perform that spell again. We can never grow crops again. How does it feel, knowing that everyone in Cassenus is going to starve because you’re a pathetic excuse for a She-Ra?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry!” Adora cried. “Look, I can do it again, I can fix it!” She tried to stand up, but instead wobbled back into Catra’s arms.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vries laughed. “There isn’t any fixing it! The Obtainment Tree is destroyed, all because you were too weak!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora looked desperately to Catra for help. “Please, Catra, there has to be a way to fix this! Maybe a spell, or something! Anything!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t you think that if there was another way, we would have done so already?” Vries cried. “Just accept it, She-Ra, you ruined Cassenus!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora tried standing again, this time successfully. “Please, Vries, let me try something. I want to make this right.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Just go away!”someone from the crowd cried, “before you destroy anything else!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But I⸺” Adora began. </em>
</p><p><em> “ </em> Leave <em> , She-Ra!” someone else from the crowd added. “We don’t want you here!” </em></p><p>
  <em> Other members of the crowd began to join in. “Leave!” they chanted. “Leave Cassenus and never return!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Catra gently tugged on Adora’s hand. “Let’s go.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora’s eyes filled with tears. With one last look at the crowd, she took off. She picked up her sword from the grass and rushed towards Mara’s ship. The crowd had begun throwing charred bits of the tree at her back and she tried to duck, but it didn’t help. One particularly large chunk landed squarely on her back. Adora winced as she felt the skin break.  </em>
</p><p><em> “</em>You deserve better than me <em> ,” a voice in Adora’s head said again. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Catra?” Adora asked. She turned to look at Catra, but she was already on the ship. There was no way she could have said it, yet Adora knew what she heard. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Come on, hurry up!” Catra cried, waving her arms. Adora ran as fast as she could. Another twig hit Adora’s skin, this time scratching her arm. She winced and kept running.  </em>
</p><p><em> “</em>Adora, I’m going to make you a promise <em> .”  </em></p><p>
  <em> Adora stopped running. She fell to the ground, hands pressed against her ears, still several feet away from the gangplank.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Stop, get out of my head!” Adora cried.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Adora, what are you doing?” Catra hissed. “Get on the ship!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Adora’s right ear had started to begin bleeding. “Don’t you hear that voice?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What voice?”  </em>
</p><p><em> “</em>I am going to propose to you <em> .”The voice was getting louder now, spreading throughout Adora’s head like water rushing into a pool. But instead of clouding her thoughts, it brought clarity. Like it was removing something each time it came.  </em></p><p><em> “</em>I am so done with being a coward <em> ,” the voice continued, still sounding eerily like Catra. But that couldn’t be, Catra was at the base of the gangplank. This voice was way too soft for it to carry all the way from Catra to Adora. </em></p><p><em> Yet it sounded </em> just <em> like her. </em></p><p><em> “ </em> You are my everything, Adora. I can’t, <em> won’t </em>, lose you again.” </p><p>
  <em> “Catra?” Adora asked, as the world around her began to blur.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Slowly, the world was blinking away, but Adora held on to that voice like a lifeline. It was the only way to keep steady as the very ground she was lying on melted away, leaving everything in a sea of black.  </em>
</p><p><em> “ </em> I love you, Adora <em> ,” the voice said. The world slowly disappeared, but Adora was still supported, as if lying on some invisible platform that she couldn’t see. The voice still ringing like churchbells in Adora’s head.  </em></p><p>
  <em> The next thing she knew, Adora was falling. </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Catra leaned back against the wall. The room she had wheeled Adora into so many days ago was still, in essence, a cave; even if it was supported by some steel structures. She hadn’t realized her feet could get so tired from just <em> pacing </em>. Over and over again, mindlessly. </p><p>She had spent full days pacing, talking to someone who might never wake up. She would willingly spend the rest of her days pacing, too, if it meant Adora wouldn’t be lonely as she slept. She only hoped Adora wasn’t going as mad as she was; watching anxiously as the one person she loved most seemed so close, yet so far away. </p><p>Adora stirred. “Catra?” she asked quietly.</p><p>Catra jolted upright. “I’m here, Adora, I’m here.” </p><p><em> Don’t get excited </em>, Catra’s annoyingly cynical inner voice warned. Yet Adora didn’t stop stirring. She kept moving, more and more fervently. She pressed her hands to her ears, her eyes visibly twitching beneath her closed eyelids.</p><p>Catra jumped up, eagerly rushing to Adora’s side. “Adora?”</p><p>Adora’s eyes slowly fluttered opened. </p><p>“Catra?” she asked, blinking. She kept stirring, desperately trying to sit up and push the blankets off, until she rolled off the cot. Catra rushed to the side of the bed just in time, catching Adora’s body just before she hit the floor. Adora rolled into Catra, leaning against her chest, and Catra hugged her tight.</p><p>“Hey, Adora,” Catra said gently. </p><p>“Where, where am I?” Adora asked weakly. “Are we in danger?”</p><p>“No, Adora. We’re safe.” </p><p>“But Cassenus⸺”</p><p>“⸺is in the past,” Catra said. She bent down and kissed the top of Adora’s head. “We’re safe now.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“Promise.”   </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>as always, comments and kudos are always appreciated :) </p><p> </p><p>story updates next on 12/13</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>